| xanga is dead, but it's nice to have someplace to post lyrics where i can't lose them. work in progress -
if we grow old and decide that we want to
watch bad tv all the night through
well honey there ain't nothing wrong with jeopardy
as long as you guess the answers with me
someday i'll find you
on a couch in the living room
weary and worn and tousled
i'll pick you up
in your threadbare nightgown
you never looked so beautiful
we'll say our prayers on arthritic knees
and climb into our four post bed
we'll dream of the people we meant to be
and how grateful we are we're not them
come dawn i'll find you
at the table in the dining room
lovely and tired and wrinkled
i'll take your hand
over eggs, toast and jam
you never looked so beautiful
when youth has escaped and death steals you away
they best hold me close or i fear this old soul will break
come heaven i'll find you
strolling on streets of gold
smiling and spry and youthful
and i will know then
as i love you again
you never looked so beautiful
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| i feel a stir
the calling of the great upward spiraling
we will be drawn, drawn, drawn up
arms pinned back, eyes wide open
illuminated
WE WILL NOT BE MOVED
they said we'd never make it
the weight of the choice was too much
it would break us
we will rise and sing into the dawn
as we are loosed upon eternity
the armies of the Son
WE WILL NOT BE MOVED
we have thrown off these vestments of earth and clay
born anew in the dusk of humanity
the ferocity of ages we bring to the task
the servants of the unmoved
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| i bought an organ and i'm probably moving to australia. what's new with ya'll?
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| -THE END OF AN ERA-
So, I graduated from UNC-Asheville this past saturday with a Bachelor's in Philosophy. Apparently this makes me ready for the real world. Hah. It's weird, though -I've spent the last 17 years of my life in school, in a rigorously structured environment, with my vision and purpose handed to me on a silver platter. Now it's all gone. I don't really intend on going to graduate school, so I suppose this is it. My grandfather made a comment to the effect of "Now you can go make lots of money to support us in our old age!" I think that comment exemplifies what is expected of most people in fairly prosperous nations nowadays. We're supposed to be "productive members of society," making money to spend on frivolous trivialities, engaging in some small amount of civic duties, and readying ourselves to grow old and die. That doesn't satisfy me, but I haven't the faintest idea what a good alternative would be. More on this as it develops.
The question might be posed: What did I get out of college? Well, I barely kept my virginity intact. Apparently this is a fact to be lauded, but I unfortunately find it to be more embarassing than praiseworthy. I also managed to not get drunk at college, or smoke weed or cigarettes. I dated three girls, none of whom turned out to be remotely what I wanted or needed. I made a few friends here and there, but I imagine only a couple of them will last. I pissed off a couple people, and a decent amount of people pissed me off. I learned that most college kids aren't any more mature than high school kids, and some are less so. I learned that most people don't think too deeply about much of anything, and that there is nothing I can do to change that. I apparently have walked the mediocre road the last four years - I've not done anything particularly amazing, but I also haven't sinned enough to actually have a lot of fun.
The glass is probably half full though. I learned an awful lot of a lot of things, and my worldview has changed considerably in the past four years. I learned about Kant and Locke and Plato and Nussbaum and Sartre, and I learned that most philosophers at least get one or two ideas right. I learned a lot of things that helped strengthen my faith in God, and almost nothing that truly weakened it. Everything plays into the great story that He has written, in one way or another. There is right and wrong, and I'm grateful to have had teachers who admonished me to be rationally and morally courageous, and to think for myself. So I got many good things out of college as well.
I don't really know what the future holds. I think I might head to Australia in the next year or so - Pete's headed there, and there are an awful lot of new (and hopefully intelligent) people to meet there. Plus I think it's time to leave Asheville. I like this town but I need something new. One thing I do know for sure - I don't plan on being a nine to fiver anytime soon.
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